Lord, I feel so inadequate in this salvation...my salvation. I feel like so many of my steps are mis-steps...so unsure and hesitant. And even when I feel sure, there is still doubt.
"Do you trust me, Beloved?"
Sometimes I think I do. I mean, most of the time I do. I know for sure I don't trust myself. Sometimes I am so overcome with my need for your help. I feel one wrong move and I will fall back into the madness you delivered me from.
"Do you believe I love you?"
I do. I'm not quite sure how I've come to know this for certain, but I do. I feel your love all over me and moving specifically in my heart. For the first time my heart is touched and stroked by a peaceful breeze.
"Do you choose me, Beloved?"
I do. I know that for certain. My desire is to live for you, to know you, to stay in constant fellowship with you. I need you for my life to have hope and meaning. I have always felt lost without you. I need you, Lord. I can not live without you. My life would be unbearable again without you. You are my ONLY choice. There is no other choice than to choose you.
"You're doing fine, Beloved."
Lord, I love you.
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