WHOLENESS

My delusions were my crutches,
they were my coping mechanisms.
Now they are being stripped from me -
one by one, leaving me exposed and afraid.
God's truth doesn't seem like enough
to cover my insecurities or my inadequacies.
My weaknesses seem so impossible for His grace.
I am struggling to trust and to believe.

There are still places in my heart
I don't want to know or admit that He sees.
Places I haven't acknowledged,
which are still broken in me.

Why is wholeness so scary.
Why is wholeness so difficult to receive?

PRAYER FOR TODAY

Lord, give me a clear, simple understanding of who You are.
I see from Your word I need knowledge of You and Your ways.
Lead me in my study of Your word to truly discover who You are;
to truly, really know You.

Open my understanding, renew my mind, prepare my heart,
PIERCE my ears, change my perception to YOURS - REFINE ME. 
Sensitize me to the Holy Spirit's leading into ALL paths of TRUTH.

Guard my heart with Your peace, Lord.
Guard my mouth, my emotions, my hope, my trust, my faith, my beleif and my life.

Help me to stay close to You, Lord.,
NO WANDERING!  LED!

In Jesus' Name,
AMEN.

REFLECTION

Who I keep thinking I have left behind is who You keep revealing to me.
But I keep running away, thinking it's toward who I've become to be.

I keep wondering why you even bothered to save me.
For what impossible purpose and for what unheard of destiny?

REALLY

Am I REALLY bare and naked before the Lord?
Am I REALLY being honest with myself?
Do I really trust Him, no matter what? 
Is my confidence really in Him, no matter what?
Or do I believe He owes me something?
What's really in my heart?
What are my real motives?
What am I really seeking and searching for?
What indeed?


Lord, help me and have mercy on me in the process.
I am praying for GRACE and ENDURANCE.
I am praying for TRUTH and WHOLENESS.
I judge you faithful, Lord.