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Wednesday, March 11, 2015

LONELY

as the distance evolves
the loneliness expands
filling me up inside
with an emptiness
of the worst kind
the tangible kind
the kind I can feel
I can taste
I can see
I can hear
and I can touch
it surrounds me
moves through me
and with me
I cannot separate 
myself from it
it has become
a part of me
it is the reflection 
I see in the mirror
and the timbre I hear in
my voice 
I am lonely

Thursday, July 17, 2014

YOU

You break me
every time you 
speak to me

You chip away 
at my love
bit by bit

You tear 
at my heart
piece by piece

Soon i will be 
a pile of rubble

Soon there
will be nothing left 
of my love

Soon my heart 
will no longer
be whole

You are not good for me

Sunday, January 12, 2014

STUCK

I've been unhappy
But this is a different kind of unhappy
And I've been lonely 
But this is a new kind of lonely

This here is something that i haven't experienced before
This is a sort of sadness 
With a deepness that is
Something beyond much more

I've been rejected 
But this is a colossal kind of rejection
And I've been hurt 
But this is a continual kind of hurt

Right now I have emotions stronger than I've felt before 
These feelings are something far greater than much more

I am at a place where my choices 
Have become freeze or flee
I  am stuck in a position 
That I never imagined I would be

I am stuck.


Monday, January 6, 2014

Untitled

love walks beside me in silence
it does not hold my hand
or offer any other comforting
or reassuring intimate gestures
it merely walks beside me
creating hope and anxiety
i do not dare reach out
lest i am rejected 
and hope would die
i can survive with anxiety
i can not live without hope

 


Monday, November 25, 2013

Untitled

My sunshines few
My storms the common weather
My Springs and Summers brief
My winters seem to last forever 

Thursday, November 1, 2012

THERE

In that place where tears become words and words flow from my eyes without meaning.

In that space where sighs become thoughts and thoughts drift from my mind without making sense.

Speaking through tears and
thoughts of random sadness
Talking through thoughts and tears of intense sadness
Can anyone hear what I am saying?

In that place where anger salts my tears and explodes from my eyes without rhyme or reason.

In that space where anger fuels my sighs and bursts from my chest
without a way to be extinguished

Breathing through tears and thoughts of random sadness
Inhaling through thoughts and tears
of intense sadness
Can anyone see my distress?

God are you listening?
Can you see me?
From the end of me, i cry
Lead me to the rock higher than I.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

HURT (Johnny Cash)


I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair

Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

these lyrics are last corrected by Johnny Cash