MAYBE

Maybe if I had never known betrayal
if I had never experienced pain
if I had never been misused

Maybe if I had never known disappointment
if I had never experienced displacement
if I had never been abused

Maybe if I had never been mislabeled
if I had never known a bad touch
if I had never experienced deceit
if my heart wasn't so confused

...I could love you better

NUMBNESS

Feeling disconnected
My heart needs a jump start
Feeling disconnected
My spirit needs a lift

Falling prey to numbness
Suspended in an
Emotionless abyss.

Longing to feel something
Needing to feel anything
Wondering if...
I am lost to everything.

I see life all around me
I try to grab hold
But moments slip from my grasp.

I see life on each side of me
I turn this way and that way
But moments slip by too fast

I slump in defeat
Into a deep sleep
Inside myself
Where things move slow enough
For me to catch them

UNTITLED

feeling like some kind of something that i'm not sure of

but, its something vaguely familiar.

remembering this place from somewhere i use to be

because its a place thats similar.

cant put my finger on this uncomfortable location

but, its a place vaguely familiar.

recognizing this feeling from another time from awhile back

because its a feeling thats similar.

i seem to recall a hand of deliverance

i seem to recall a measure of saving grace

my Spirit is attempting to bring it to my remembrance

i try hard to see into love's saving face



RESTLESS

Rattling the bars of my mind
Tugging at the chains of my mind
Clawing at the walls if my mind
Pacing back and forth inside my mind

I am hungry for freedom
I am thirsting for freedom

Restlessness is consuming me
My focus is on breaking free
I know slavery is not my destiny
I hear freedom calling me

Pounding the walls of my mind
Pulling on the chains of my mind
Beating the bars of my mind
Striding back and forth inside my mind

I am hungry for freedom
I am thirsting for freedom

Restlessness is consuming me
My focus is on breaking free
I know slavery is not my destiny
I hear freedom calling me

I am restless
I am hungry to be free
I am thirsting to be free
I am ready for freedom

2012 Groshonda McDonald

THIS LIFE

Loss of lives seems to be all around me right now. This morning I read the coroner's report on Whitney Houston's death. Whew!

God's mercy hit me like a ton of bricks.
It could have been me. I too indulged in long term marijuana, alcohol and cocaine use/abuse. Seven years to be exact, longer for alcohol.

God spared my life. He interrupted mine and the devil's plan to destroy and ultimately end my life.

I asked myself this question:
Am I now living as though I am grateful? Am I taking every opportunity to LIVE this life I have so graciously been given a second chance to do?
Am I living as though God is truly alive?

Or am I taking for granted this precious gift...of LIFE?

still learning to live without fear,
Groshonda


THIS LIFE (the poem)

Living as though life is something
to be taken lightly.
Living as though life is something
to be taken for granted.
Carelessly missing opportunities to embrace it.
Forgetting it is precious.
Shrugging off its significance.
Dismissing it's value.
Totally disgracing that it is a gift.
Your life, my life, the life of others...
fleeting and temporary.
Forever is far more than a mere
40 or 50 or 60 or even a hundred years.
We do not have forever in this life.
What we do have are limited amounts of moments to cherish, to treasure, to be grateful for, and...
to LIVE.

2012 Groshonda McDonald

METAMORPHOUS IN PROGRESS

Metamorphous in Progress

I started on the other side of change.

Now, I am in the middle of change.

Metamorphous in progress…

I have become a spiritual cocoon.

Changes are taking place inside of my heart.

Deep changes not seen by the natural eye.

Metamorphous in progress…

Total transformation in the making.

Undeniably, I will be something quite different.

Metamorphous in progress…

Freedom wings of untainted identity.

Imaginations and dreams.

Metamorphous in progress…

Unleashed potential.  Healing in my heart.

Beautiful and amazing.

A creature of newness.

Metamorphous in progress…

I am metamorphous in progress.

©2011 Groshonda McDonald

We Grieve

Even as we grieve in pain,
We grieve with healing.
We grieve with comfort.
We grieve with peace.
We grieve with joy.
We grieve, but not without hope.
Because we grieve with God.

Copyrighted 2012
Groshonda McDonald